11) STARLOST EPISODE GUIDE

Following on our March virtual meeting’s article about the creation of the ignominious, early-’70s, Canadian-made sci-fi program The Starlost, we offer this afternoon a brief episode guide! Star SF writer Harlan Ellison created the series but famously walked off the show before the first episode had even aired, unhappy with budget cuts, the niggling and nonsensical changes made by producers to his pilot script, and what he characterized as the dumbing down of his concept. The resulting series was not well received and quickly tanked, earning from TV critics and fans alike an “honoured” place in the pantheon of truly bad sci-fi TV shows!

Join us, as well, on our Zoom for discussion and video clips!

Title: Voyage of Discovery (Pilot Episode)

Written by Cordwainer Bird; Directed by Harvey Hart; Original Airdate, September 22, 1973

Devon is a young man who questions much about his small world, an Amish-like agrarian community called Cypress Corners. He loves Rachel, and she him, but according to the Elders, the “Creator” has ordained that she marry his friend Garth. Devon refuses to accept this, is accused of blasphemy, and later discovers that the “Creator” is, in fact, one of the Elder’s speaking through a voice machine. Devon realizes that the strict laws under which his people live are not those of the Creator at all, but simply the wishes of the deceitful Elders. He attempts to expose this truth but is chased into the hills and escapes capture through a mysterious door on which is marked “Beyond is Death!”

On the other side of the door Devon finds that Cypress Corners is but one of many “biospheres,” modules attached to a giant spaceship carrying the survivors of the dead planet Earth to a new home among the distant stars. However, some kind of accident has thrown this galactic Noah’s Ark off course and set the vessel on a fatal collision course with a “Class G solar star.” Yes, a solar star!

And so is set up the premise of the series.

Devon returns to Cypress Corners to tell of what he has discovered, but is silenced by the Elders and condemned to death. With a sympathetic Garth’s help, he escapes his holding cell. Garth implores him to run away, and to just leave Rachel alone, but Devon steals away into the night to fetch Rachel, and the couple escape through the door together, where Devon begins showing Rachel the astounding wonders of the ship. Meanwhile, Garth volunteers to follow after them and bring Rachel back home. He soon finds his quarry, but Rachel refuses to return with him to Cypress Corners. Garth reluctantly decides to join Devon and Rachel in their strange adventure.

These three form the heroic group that will explore the Ark every week, travelling from biosphere to biosphere, adventure to adventure, searching for a way to save the great ship.

Norman Klenman’s rewrite of Harlan Ellison’s original “Phoenix Without Ashes” teleplay was the shooting script used for this series opening episode. An unhappy Ellison had obliged producers to scrub his name from the credits as writer and substitute his notorious Cordwainer Bird pseudonym, which he employed whenever he was acutely chagrined at someone having severely messed with his work. This mocking pen name was used as Ellison’s series-creator credit, too, appearing boldly onscreen at the beginning of every episode, much to the displeasure of producers.

Title: Lazarus From the Mist (Episode 2)

Written by Douglas Hall and Don Wallace; Directed by Leo Orenstein; Original Airdate, September 29, 1973

Our trio locate a medical center and while Garth attempts to hold off a band of scruffy ruffians who live in the access tubes outside the facility, Devon and Rachel enter to bring one of the Ark’s designers and engineers out of cryonic suspension in hopes that he might know how to save the ship. These specialists of indispensable skill were preserved so that they could be brought back in future when needed. But the man they revive happens to be a communication’s specialist, not an engineer or pilot, and in any case was placed in cryonic sleep because he’d been afflicted with a deadly “radiation virus” that will kill him within a couple of hours now that he’s been awakened. They put him back in deep-freeze, never thinking, apparently, of trying to revive another of the individuals frozen there who might be better able to help them save the Ark.

Title: The Goddess Calabra (Episode 3)

Written by Martin Lager from a story by Ursula K. Le Guin; Directed by Harvey Hart; Original Airdate, October 6, 1973

Our heroes enter the Omicron biosphere, where they believe can be found information that will help them save the Ark, and are quickly intercepted by a squadron of guards whose attire suggests an amalgam of Roman centurion and glam rock cover band! Awestruck at the sight of Rachel, they kneel in adoration, believing her to be their Goddess, Calabra. Taken to Omicron’s governor, Rachel and her companions learn that this is a martial, all-male society. And the governor has designs on Rachel!

Title: The Pisces (Episode 4)

Written by Norman Klenman; Directed by Leo Orenstein; Original Airdate, October 13, 1973

The small scout ship Pisces returns to the Ark after completing a ten-year mission searching for habitable planets. But time displacement is at play, here; the Pisces has been away for over 400 years, Ark-time, and the commander and his crew are beginning to feel the effects of space senility!

Title: Children of Methuselah (Episode 5)

Written by Jonah Royston and George Ghent from a story by Jonah Royston; Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan; Original Airdate, October 20, 1973

Devon, Rachel, and Garth may have found the Ark’s back-up bridge! But they discover, instead, a crew on children manning a flight simulator. Problem is, the youngsters don’t realize this, believe they’ve actually been navigating the Ark, and dismiss Devon’s claim that the ship is damaged and off course!

Title: And Only Man is Vile (Episode 6)

Written by Shimon Wincelberg; Directed by Ed Richardson; Original Airdate, October 27, 1973

Entering bucolic “Leisure Village,” our Cypress Corners nomads are unaware that they have walked into a scientist’s cruel experiments regarding human behaviour! Garth falls for the scientist’s assistant, who has been manipulating him and the others for the purposes of the experiment.

Title: The Alien Oro (Episode 7)

Written by Mort Forer and Marion Waldman; Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan; Original Airdate, November 3, 1973

Star Trek’s Walter “Ensign Chekov” Koenig guest stars as the titular alien in this episode, an explorer from the planet Xar whose flying saucer crashes into the much larger Ark, stranding him aboard.

Devon, Rachel, and Garth discover that Oro has been cannibalizing the Ark for parts to rebuild his ship, and plans to take with him on his return to Xar the woman with whom Garth has fallen in love!

Title: Curcuit of Death (Episode 8)
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Written by Norman Klenman; Directed by Peter Levin; Original Airdate, November 10, 1973

Riffing on the popular film Fantastic Voyage (1966), Devon and Garth are miniaturized and join a scientist inside a critical microcircuit that must be repaired in order to prevent the Ark from blowing up!

Title: Gallery of Fear (Episode 9)

Written by Alfred Harris and George Ghent from a story by Alfred Harris; Directed by Ed Richardson and an uncredited Joseph L. Scanlan; Original Airdate, November 17, 1973

Keir Dullea returns to familiar territory in this episode, his Devon character compelled to pull the plug on a powerful A.I. which has created weird illusions, including a strange art gallery and its beautiful curator!

Title: Mr. Smith of Manchester (Episode 10)

Written by Arthur Heinemann and Norman Klenman from a story by Arthur Heinemann; Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan and an uncredited Ed Richardson; Original Airdate, November 24, 1973

Our heroes are brought in chains before Mr. Smith, president of the heavily industrialized, militaristic biosphere Manchester, who suspects them to be enemy infiltrators or saboteurs. Our heroes must contend with a mad, paranoid, harsh, industry-über-alles, gun-happy society of savage atrocities, lies, deception, betrayal, threats, murder, a Monty Pythonesque method of dealing with the dead, and even a gun fight and gas warfare before they are able to slip safely out of this nightmarish dome unseen.

Title: Astro-Medics (Episode 11)

Written by Paul Schnieder and Martin Lager; Directed by George McCowan; Original Airdate, December 1, 1973

Devon is seriously injured pulling Garth out of a dangerous situation and an orbiting medical ship is dispatched to render aid. But the lead doctor seems more interested in lending assistance to a stricken alien vessel nearby than he is in saving Devon, until Garth, feeling responsible for having carelessly endangered his friend, takes drastic action!

Title: The Implant People (Episode 12)

Written by Helen French and Martin Lager; Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan; Original Airdate, December 8, 1973

A monarch’s power-hungry servant plots to rule their biosphere, in which the poor starve and the elites are forced to suffer implants that inflict pain! When he takes Rachel and Garth hostage, will the elites find the courage to step up?

Title: The Return of Oro (Episode 13)

Written by Alex C. James; Directed by Francis Chapman; Original Airdate, December 15, 1973

Oro returns, offering to repair the Ark’s faulty systems and fly the great ship to Xar, where he proposes to settle all of the Ark’s people, claiming the planet is much as Earth was. But Devon discovers he is lying and must engage Oro in a robot-monitored debate to the death!

Title: Farthing’s Comet (Episode 14)

Written by Douglas Hall; Directed by Ed Richardson; Original Airdate, December 22, 1973

The Ark’s chief astronomer had changed the ship’s course to closer inspect a comet, but now, with cometary debris pummeling the vessel, Devon must make an EVA to repair the thrusters that can move the Ark to safety!

Title: The Beehive (Episode 15)

Written by Norman Klenman; Directed by Bill Davis and an uncredited George McCowan; Original Airdate, December 29, 1973

Giant bees! Okay, I’ll give you a little more information than that! A dome dedicated to a tropical garden and lab cultivates millions of bees to pollinate the plants on humanity’s eventual new home world, but the head scientist is breeding giant, mutant bees with the ability to take over human minds!

Title: Space Precinct (Episode 16)

Written by Martin Lager; Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan; Original Airdate, January 5, 1974

Garth decides to go back home and says goodbye to his companions, only to find himself recruited by the Ark’s police force, who are working with police from an alien system to avert an interplanetary war. Their efforts, however, are being thwarted from within!

This seemed to me like a storyline that might lead to a spin-off series featuring Garth as a space cop, but it proved the last episode to be broadcast before the show was unceremoniously cancelled.

Two more episodes were in the pipeline at the time, “God That Died” and “People in the Dark,” but of course, where never produced.

The Starlost is on YouTube! View all 16 Starlost episodes here: Starlost Playlist

And, listen to episodes of the Fusion Patrol Podcast to hear co-hosts Ben and Eugene scoff at the show, review and ridicule each and every Starlost episode, and in general chortle derisively at the series: Fusion Control Podcast, Starlost

Explore the rest of the Fusion Patrol site for more entertaining critiques of science fiction television and film from Doctor Who and Blake’s 7 to The Questor Tapes and Forbidden Planet to Man from Atlantis and the original Battlestar: Galactica: fusionpatrol.com

This chapter of today’s meeting will take place as part of our ongoing Zoom session, running in ED is characterized by the inability to attain and maintain an erection for satisfying sexual intercourse. buy sildenafil canada This product has been launched in a smooth orange and greyish 180 ml/6 ounce levitra uk bottle, and this is an opportunity for you to shop around. Due to the stressful modern life and race of leading ahead has provided depleted effects on the male reproductive system very fruitfully. amerikabulteni.com levitra buy levitra Alcohol rehabilitation is clinics and certain canadian viagra store centers which help in permanent enlargement. tandem with the Web site-based material we’ve been posting this afternoon. Join our Zoom to take part!

Get your bhere and chips, enjoy the displays and converse with your friends! It’s time for the break!

Club News

MonSFFA has granted all our members a bonus year. Be sure to consult the latest Impulse for details. If you are unsure when your membership comes due, you can ask us during the zoom session break, or contact <president@monsffa.ca>

Display Table

From Wayne Glover, Ontario class DDG HMCS James Bay DDG-285

From Daniel Kenney who writes: Chinese Junk..have been building this kit for about 6 years on and off..

Had to modify many items..came with no canopy, had to make one with pieces of heavy cardboard. Glued and then painted straw colour to simulate bamboo.
Rear had no place to board small boarding craft..had to make a shelf. Doors, pulley to raise and lower boat.
Added safety net so crew would not fall off in battle.
Have several books as reference to build chines junk ships.
Sails can go up or down. ( note..masts are not glued in yet for easy access to main deck)
Will add canons and extra men ( crew) later.
If further questions, message me or check my Fb page..
THANK YOU ALL / MERCI BEAUCOUP.
DANIEL P. KENNEY..

Click a thumbnail to enlarge photo

Participation Prizes

3 or 4 names (depends on how many become involved) will be drawn from a hat. All you have to do is be here! But we really would like you to also leave comments on our website.

Click to enlarge

Cylon raider donated by  Brian Knapp	The USS Enterprise, model donated by Brian Knapp	Romulan Bird of Prey, a model donated by Brian Knapp
1972 edition, good condition, but my name is cut out of it. Dust jacket a bit torn. Donated by Cathy	Grand Prix 2005 de la science-fiction et du fantastique québécois, Prix Boréal 2005, Prix 2006 des lecteurs Radio-Canada	A set of hand crafted magic wands in the colours of Hogwarts houses, made and donated by Josée Bellemare
From Cathy’s workshop, a dragon-headed letter opener, cut from Padauk, a naturally reddish-brown wood.	DVD, Flash Gordon: A football player and his friends find themselves fighting the tyranny of Ming the Merciless to save Earth. Stars Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Max von Sydow, music by Queen. Donated by Joe Aspler	The first volume of the Wild Cards series edited by George RR Martin. Good conditon, pages a little yellowed, and my name is cut out of it. Donated by Cathy

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Comedy, Parody, and Puns in Fantasy & Science Fiction Presented by Joe Aspler

Science fiction and fantasy have a long history of taking themselves seriously. Very seriously. All too seriously. There have been successful SF and fantasy humourists of course. In recent months I talked about the fractured fantasies of Terry Pratchett and Tom Holt. However, humour in hard science fiction is rarer. A good parody is a joy to behold. There have been some good parodies …. And some not so good. In the next hour, I’ll give examples of humour, parodies, and puns in science fiction and fantasy. Professional warning: you will find some real science and some real science jokes here.

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This is post 1 of 6 related posts which together make up our May 8, 2021, DIY, Virtual MonSFFA Meeting.

1) QUICK CORONAVIRUS UPDATE!

It has come down to a race between the vaccines and the variants!

Québec is faring fairly well through this third wave. While the variant forms of the coronavirus are far more transmissible—and if some cases, rather deadlier—than the original, this necessitating enhanced restrictions in some areas, the good news is that the vaccine supply has largely stabilized and is robust, with hundreds of thousands of doses now arriving regularly. The roll-out is proceeding apace and by the end of next week, all adults in Quebec will be eligible for a first jab, so book your appointment as soon as possible! To date, almost 50 percent of Québec’s adult population has received at least that first shot, and with the recent approval of Pfizer’s vaccine for children as young as 12 years old, officials expect that teens will have had their initial dose by the end of June, with the second to follow before the start of the next school year.

All good! We anticipate an almost normal summer, so hang on just a while longer. And even if you have had your first shot, continue to practice all recommended safety protocols so as to protect those who have not yet received theirs.

2) HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day! For those of you fortunate enough to still have your mom, give her a big hug, and if that’s not possible, call to wish her a happy Mother’s Day. It has been an especially difficult year for us all, separated from family as so many are, so she will surely appreciate hearing from you. We can all take the opportunity of this day in particular to celebrate with fondness our beloved moms!

3) MEMBERSHIP RENEWALS

 We remind club members that MonSFFA has resumed the collection of annual membership fees beginning officially in April. Note that every active club member has benefitted from a full year of fees-free membership.

For most MonSFFen, our 2020 renewal dates now become 2021 renewal dates. So if your annual membership fees were due in May 2020, that’s been bumped up a year to May 2021. If your fees were due last June, they are now due this upcoming June, July 2020 to July 2021, and so on.

But what about those few MonSFFen who had, in fact, paid their fees last year, most prior to pandemic lockdowns going into effect and our suspension of in-person meetings? These folk, then, having paid last year’s fees, will not miss out on the fees-free year enjoyed by their fellow club members; their annual fees will next become due beginning in 2022.

Of course, we welcome back any former members who may have let lapse their memberships, and we invite to join our ranks any prospective members who may have discovered the club via our virtual meetings.

Note that there is no change to our fee structure. A standard one-year membership is still only $25; the premium Platinum Level membership, $35; a family membership (up to four people, single postal mailing address), $40; and the Platinum Family Level, $50. Make your cheques or money orders out to “MonSFFA” and mail to our new postal mailing address:

MonSFFA, c/o

125 Leonard

Châteauguay, Québec, Canada

J6K 1N9

Download here the latest issue of MonSFFA’s news bulletin, Impulse, for all the details: ImpulseApril-May2021(PDF)

4) TODAY’S MEETING: INTRODUCTION

As we gather online for this month’s virtual club meeting, we take a moment to strongly encourage all MonSFFen to get their vaccine shot as soon as available, and to please continue to take all possible precautions in order to keep themselves and others as protected from the virus as can be. It is especially important that we not let up on those safety protocols prematurely.

This is our 14th virtual MonSFFA meeting. The afternoon’s get-together will unfold right here on the club’s Web site over the course of the next few hours, beginning with this first post, and followed by subsequent posts at 1:30PM, 2:30PM, 3:00PM, and 4:00PM, with a concluding post at 4:30PM. All content will also be available concurrently on MonSFFA’s Facebook page (www.facebook.com/MonSFFA), however, note that the interface best suited for taking in this meeting is this very Web site.

Today we’ll be talking comedy, parody, and puns in SF/F, scale-modelling, feature a brief Starlost episode guide, and more!

We will officially open today’s Zoom chat at 1:30PM, running in parallel to the Web site-based content that will be put up throughout the afternoon. Our Zoom will afford folk opportunity to catch-up, chat about the disappointment of Godzilla vs. Kong, and discuss with or ask questions of our presenters directly. If our Zoom is interrupted, that’s likely a temporary technical glitch, but this weekend, could also be an errant rocket booster falling out of the sky and crashing through our roof! Just refresh.

As we cannot yet safely assemble in person, this May virtual meeting has been prepared especially for you, MonSFFA’s membership. Sit back, check out each of the afternoon’s posts, scroll down leisurely through the proffered content, and enjoy!

And don’t forget to comment on what we’ve presented. Let us know what you think of specific topics or the meeting overall. Your input helps us to tailor these virtual meetings for maximum interest and enjoyment.

You may also wish to Zoom with us during the course of the meeting. To join our expanded Zoom session, beginning at 1:30PM, click here: This Afternoon’s MonSFFA Zoom

If you’re not fully equipped to Zoom by computer, you can also join in by phone (voice only); in the Montreal area, the toll-free number to call is: 1-438-809-7799. If you’re from out of town, find your Zoom call-in number here: International Call-In Numbers

Have this information on hand as you may be asked to enter it:

Meeting ID: 823 6592 4425
Passcode: 768740

5) MEETING AGENDA 

In This Afternoon’s Virtual Meeting:

1:00PM, Post 1 of 6 (Opening)

1) Coronavirus Upate

2) Happy Mother’s Day

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4) Today’s Meeting: Introduction

5) Meeting Agenda

6) Cheesy Dad Jokes, These Groaners Are!

1:30PM, Post 2 of 6 (Sci-Fi Laughs; Zoom Opens!)

7) Space—The Final Frontier (Humour, Parody, Puns in SF/F)

8) Zoom Chat Opens

2:30PM, Post 3 of 6 (Break)

9) Mid-Meeting Break (Display Table, Raffle, Zoom Continues)

3:00PM, Post 4 of 6 (Modelling Hour!)

10) Zoom Chat: Scale-Model Building Show-and-Tell

4:00PM, Post 6 of 7 (Internet Gems!)

11) Starlost Episode Guide

4:30PM, Post 6 of 6 (Wrap-Up)

12) More Star Wars Dad Jokes!

13) Thank-You!

6) CHEESY DAD JOKES, THESE GROANERS ARE!

Star Wars fans celebrated their favourite sci-fi franchise earlier this week, on May 4 and 5, respectively, Star Wars Day (May the Fourth be With You), and Revenge of the Fifth. In honour of this, we offer for your amusement 13 cheesy Star Wars jokes and puns, dad-style, plus a few cartoons, all culled from the Internet! (Cartoons by Scott Nickel, Jon Carter, and Nathan Cooper.)

1) Luke Skywalker’s love life hasn’t exactly been stellar! I mean, he was hitting on his own sister at one point! He seems to be looking for love in Alderaan places!

2) At breakfast, how does Darth Vader like his toast?… On the dark side!

3) What do you call a Rebel princess who eschews the use of synthetic fertilizers and pesticides in her vegetable garden?… Leia Organic! 

4) What Rebel commander runs a hotdog stand on the side?… Admiral Snackbar!

5) Where do Sith shop?… At the Darth Mall!

6) Where did Luke buy his cybernetic hand?… At the second-hand store!

7) Hear about the big discount sale down at the Darth Mall?… Half off!

8) There’s this Star Wars fan who really likes it when fangirls dress up as bounty hunters! He has a Boba fetish!

9) Who is short, green, and plays the cello?… Yo-Yo Da!

10) What is the Emperor’s favourite Québecois delicacy?… Palpoutine!

11) As a child, Luke rode a do-cycle…because there is no tri!

12) What do you call an evil procrastinator?… Darth Later!

13) What was Governor Tarkin’s favourite brand of toilet paper?… Charmin, to the last!

This is the 6th and concluding post of today’s DIY, Virtual MonSFFA Meeting.

9) THANK YOU!

We thank you for joining us this afternoon, and for your kind words and reminiscence of Sylvain. We ask that you check in regularly here at www.MonSFFA.ca for additional content during this continuing pandemic, and for any news as to when the club expects a return to face-to-face meetings.

Regarding this special memorial meeting, we would like to acknowledge Joe Aspler and Lil Moir for their support and advice. Thanks, as well, to all those who sent us photos of Sylvain for this occasion. And for putting the meeting together, specific thanks are extended Keith Braithwaite, Cathy Palmer-Lister, and sadly, for the final time, Sylvain St-Pierre.

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10) WISH YOU WERE HERE: A FINAL TRIBUTE

 

8) GALLERY: IT CAME FROM THE GARDEN!

In honour of our absent friend, we are rerunning, this afternoon, a few of his exceptional online presentations, selected from among the previous 12 months of his contributions to this series of MonSFFA DIY, virtual meetings. This gallery was originally part of our September 12, 2020, cyber-assembly. Sylvain cautioned that those with a serious aversion to bugs skip this particular photo-album.

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Next Post: 4:30PM—Closing

7) A COMPENDIUM OF UNUSUAL BOOKS

In honour of our absent friend, we are rerunning, this afternoon, a few of his exceptional online presentations, selected from among the previous 12 months of his contributions to this series of MonSFFA DIY, virtual meetings. Sylvain’s love of books is evident in this treatise, posted originally as a feature of our November 14, 2020, book-themed gathering.

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Sylvain teamed with Josée Bellemare to present that “Joy of Books” gallery he mentions. To visit said gallery, click here: Joy of Books

Next Post: 4:00PM—It Came From the Garden!